I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
