We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
it was like eating out sand paper
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
