She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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