Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
