i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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