I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
