so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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