yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I am available for nakedness
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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