in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
