remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
bring money and cleavage
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
