I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize