My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
