a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
