They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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