please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
drinking out of a sandbucket again
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
