We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
