i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Randomize
