they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
