I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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