If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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