i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize