We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
