I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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