so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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