Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just forgot I was standing up.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
