Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you didnt know i had herpes?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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