Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
