remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
