just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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