I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i now understand why vodka
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
