This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
