i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
