You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
