It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
