If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
a search helicopter?!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
