I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
