Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
