Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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