We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
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you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
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Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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