if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
