the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
