at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I touched a dick in church today
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
