Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
