the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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