Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
