sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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