There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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