4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
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