yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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