you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
