you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
