Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
