i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
