kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You made out with two different species that night
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just pee around me
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
